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abbys_momma's Journal
Created on 2007-04-09 07:32:07 (#12681640), last updated 2009-03-24
7 comments received, 10 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | abbys_momma |
|---|
BioAll the entries in this journal could be triggers for some folks. Since all of the entries are likely to contain triggers I have not hid them behind cuts and I'm unlikely to post further warnings. Please take care of yourself and do what is best for you in this situation.
During the past week my daughter's therapist has suggested that my daughter is somewhat dissociative or may have multiple personality disorder. After doing some research on the disorder and watching my kiddo's behavior for a few days it's pretty clear that she has the full blown disorder. The therapist agrees with me- she was trying to break it to me in stages I think. It's something that I and others in her life had considered as a possibility and then dismissed it. I'm sure if I would have researched it when I first brought her home I would have seen it more clearly sooner.
This dx has not lessened at all the love that I feel for my daughter but it has caused me to feel somewhat split. I'm not used to having big secrets in my life but of course my kiddo deserves some privacy- especially considering how curious folks would be about her and the general lack of knowledge about how the disorder manifests in someone's life. I need to figure out who I can talk to and what kind of support I need. I'm hoping this journal can fill that place for awhile at least. I go back and forth about whether or not to have this be solely a private journal or if I will keep the messages public as folks would not be able to connect the journal to me and my family. I think I will start by leaving it public. The reason why I'm doing that is because I am seeing so many survivor blogs but none from parents trying to help their children. I suppose in large part this is because many folks with DID were abused by their parents. All the same you would think that there would be other adoptive mothers out there like myself.
This is a journal for me however. A place where I can be a less than perfect mother and vent if I need to. As a result if you are reading this please recognize that you are never getting the entire story- I am writing what I need to express so that when I am dealing with my life I can do it well and with love.
It makes sense at this point to give a brief bio of my kiddo and I. She was born when I was 17. She was the daughter of my maternal Aunt. My Aunt, my kiddo's bio-dad, and the kiddo were in a housefire when the kiddo was just 6 months old. My Aunt died in that house fire but the kiddo and the bio-dad survived. (yes we are very certain that the bio-dad did not start the fire) My family wanted to take the kiddo because the bio-dad looked like one of life's losers (we had no idea how true this was)but he wanted to raise her himself. We kept in contact with him and the kiddo but they lived 12 hours away so it was much less than we would have liked. However, it was much more than he would have preferred as he moved frequently and did not always inform us of where he moved to. When the kiddo was 14 she made a statement to one of her teachers that indicated she was being sexually abused. At that point she was put into foster care and I requested that I be allowed to adopt her. She has been living with me for almost 6 years. She has many emotional and learning issues, but mostly she is a fun, hardworking, loving, kind person who is doing her best in trying to make it through the world. I have been very blessed to have her as a daughter.
During the past week my daughter's therapist has suggested that my daughter is somewhat dissociative or may have multiple personality disorder. After doing some research on the disorder and watching my kiddo's behavior for a few days it's pretty clear that she has the full blown disorder. The therapist agrees with me- she was trying to break it to me in stages I think. It's something that I and others in her life had considered as a possibility and then dismissed it. I'm sure if I would have researched it when I first brought her home I would have seen it more clearly sooner.
This dx has not lessened at all the love that I feel for my daughter but it has caused me to feel somewhat split. I'm not used to having big secrets in my life but of course my kiddo deserves some privacy- especially considering how curious folks would be about her and the general lack of knowledge about how the disorder manifests in someone's life. I need to figure out who I can talk to and what kind of support I need. I'm hoping this journal can fill that place for awhile at least. I go back and forth about whether or not to have this be solely a private journal or if I will keep the messages public as folks would not be able to connect the journal to me and my family. I think I will start by leaving it public. The reason why I'm doing that is because I am seeing so many survivor blogs but none from parents trying to help their children. I suppose in large part this is because many folks with DID were abused by their parents. All the same you would think that there would be other adoptive mothers out there like myself.
This is a journal for me however. A place where I can be a less than perfect mother and vent if I need to. As a result if you are reading this please recognize that you are never getting the entire story- I am writing what I need to express so that when I am dealing with my life I can do it well and with love.
It makes sense at this point to give a brief bio of my kiddo and I. She was born when I was 17. She was the daughter of my maternal Aunt. My Aunt, my kiddo's bio-dad, and the kiddo were in a housefire when the kiddo was just 6 months old. My Aunt died in that house fire but the kiddo and the bio-dad survived. (yes we are very certain that the bio-dad did not start the fire) My family wanted to take the kiddo because the bio-dad looked like one of life's losers (we had no idea how true this was)but he wanted to raise her himself. We kept in contact with him and the kiddo but they lived 12 hours away so it was much less than we would have liked. However, it was much more than he would have preferred as he moved frequently and did not always inform us of where he moved to. When the kiddo was 14 she made a statement to one of her teachers that indicated she was being sexually abused. At that point she was put into foster care and I requested that I be allowed to adopt her. She has been living with me for almost 6 years. She has many emotional and learning issues, but mostly she is a fun, hardworking, loving, kind person who is doing her best in trying to make it through the world. I have been very blessed to have her as a daughter.
ConnectInterests (8):
adoption, did, equine assisted therapy, infant reflexes, multiple personalities, parenting, sex abuse, survivor
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